"Man, let me tell you, I had one fucking crazy night last night," said Jacqueline Bloom to Simon Refing across the red and white checkered table cloth.
"Man, I was just about to say the same
thing to you, and today ain't looking to great either so far," replied Simon.
"I hear that, fuck this shit, but at
least today isn't over yet."
"Hi boys, what can I start you off
with?" asked the waitress with thick red lipstick and old enough to be the Gun
Bearer's mother.
"Coffee, black," said Simon.
"Chi Tea?" asked Jacquie.
"Sure," replied the waitress.
"This was a good idea, man," said
Jacquie.
"Yeah, well, things have been shit
lately not being partners anymore and whatever, we should still be able to hang
out every once in a while."
They sat in silence until the drinks
arrived. For another minute they sipped at the drinks while the steam still
rose up thick. Jacquie's glasses fogged and cleared fogged and cleared.
"Hey," Simon said as he rose up his
coffee cup, "to the old times."
Jacquie looked around a little
embarrassed and then he cocked his head to the side and lifted his own cup, "to
the good old times."
The clinked cups and took a drink.
"They weren't bad that's for sure. Hey,
remember the Stevie Calabreezie job?" asked Simon.
Jacquie's forehead wrinkled forward and
then a look of realization, "Calabreezie, yeah man! Fuck that was some crazy
shit."
Well you probably don't remember it
quite like I do," said Simon.
"Yeah, how come?" asked Jacquie.
"You got punched in the face the second
we came through the door. It was when you were just starting out. Oh yeah and
you took an aluminum bat to the back of the head."
"O-o-o-oh...yeah," said Jacquie scratching
his head.
"I thought you were dead buddy for sure.
You hadn't been a Gun Bearer for more than a month, still wet behind the ears
and a little quick with the draw, but not at that job. Yeah, back then my quick
to rise anger was the savior of the day, my how da fucking times do a change."
"So what happened again?"
"You and I were there to get some money
from Calabreezie, simple no big deal. But what we didn't know was that
Calabreezie's mother had come over a half hour before us and yelled at Stevie,
and the result was a pumped up Stevie Calabreezie. It was like he was filled
with like perfect son growth hormone, his dumb mother filling his head with all
this nonsense about how he can take on a Gun Bearer. Well, you and I get to the
door and he says come on in. In you walk and bam right in the face from old
Stevie. Well, you don't go down like I guess he and his ma thought you would.
You staggered a bit, there was some blood, but otherwise you were fine. But
then out pops mom from behind the door with an aluminum bat and cleans your
clock with it. You're out cold on the floor and I'm still in the damn doorway."
"And then I guess you cleaned house."
"I threw Stevie's mother through the
window, and smashed all his teeth out with a toaster."
"Nice," said Jacquie and they took a sip
from their drinks.
"Ya know, I never realized that with
those bread slots how good a weapon a toaster can be."
Leave a comment